Danny Yee >> Diary

Women, Friends

May 2002

Women - 31st May

Watching Sidewalks of New York was provoking. All of the three main female characters are reasonable people, while of the men one is totally obnoxious, one is painfully clueless, and the third gets the least screen-time of the six central characters. And real life doesn't seem so different to me - I think I'm fundamentally a philogynist (or a misandrist?).

The friend I saw Sidewalks with is one of eight sisters. I was thinking it would be neat to have eight sisters - my one sister has been overseas for nearly a decade - and then it occurred to me that I have effectively improvised that, with my social life built around about that many platonic friendships with safely married/partnered female friends.

Maybe if I were in a relationship myself it would be different, but as things are close friendships with single women are unstable, while men are generally less interesting. But maybe I'm just confused...

A small city - August

Three acquaintance circles in the last week. At one party I discover that Sarah has got a job at the Australian Caption Centre, where she is being trained by my friend Ruth. And I run into Lucy, who I know through a completely different social network. Then at a housewarming party a week later I run into a woman who is there only in passing, but who turns out to work with Rita. Just coincidences, of course, but three in one week is exceptional.

Obsession - 22nd April

I eventually get over limerence, but some elements of it seem to linger forever: a strange mix of nostalgia and epistemological desire and maybe grief. Whatever the case, I keep on caring about people long after they stop being the least bit interested in me.

But at least I haven't had the urge to write another love poem - that would be a sure sign of trouble!